Written by Kenneth Turnbull – May 24th, 2019
Is empathy manipulative when it’s used for the purpose of persuasion?
That’s the question I asked you in Wednesday’s email about how to become a mind reader in 2 easy steps.
Before I share my take on the matter, I want to thank everyone who sent in a thoughtful reply…
… including Paul, who said:
“Depends on what you use it for. If the persuasion ends up harming them, then it is manipulative.”
… And good friend & fellow copywriter, Jim Hamilton, who really hit the nail on the head with this response:
“Hell nah!
There’s this line from The West Wing I think of all the time…
The President’s press secretary is talking to an old Republican who’s agreed to spin for them on trade after one of the presidential debates.
His line:
“The President knows Chinese political prisoners are going to be sewing soccer balls with their teeth whether we sell them cheeseburgers or not, so let’s sell them cheeseburgers.”
Hehehe.
I think like most things in life, there’s the way people wish it was, and the way it really is.
But in my experience, the faster you get with the way things really are, the easier life gets.
A lesson some people spend an entire lifetime trying to wrap their heads around, unfortunately.”
Spot on, Jimbo.
What Jim has said here is one of the reason successful sales people live great lives…
‘Cause in order to be successful at sales, your perception of reality and human psychology have to jive with the way things really work.
That’s why folks who have hangups about sales and persuasion — because they think it’s sleazy or manipulative — often have plenty trouble with relationships in their personal lives.
As for my take on the matter…
The Oxford English Dictionary defines manipulation as:
“To control or influence someone or something, often in a dishonest way so that they do not realize it.”
There is NOTHING inherently dishonest about empathizing with your prospect.
Empathy is just an info-gathering tool you can use to figure out what’s really going on between your prospect’s ear-lugs.
What you do with that info is entirely up to you.
Sure… certain scumbag marketers do use that info to influence consumers in a dishonest way. But thankfully, that specific variety of internet marketer is fast becoming a dying breed — in part thanks to the tightening of compliance rules from the major ad networks, such as Google and Facebook.
What’s more:
Words are powerful. But…
They are not so powerful that they can force people into doing something they don’t want to do, or buying something they don’t want to buy.
Great copywriters know that the prospect must have at least a small seed of desire for what is being offered, otherwise they will NOT buy, under any circumstances.
The purpose of effective copy is to water that seed of desire, until it blooms into a magnificent urge the prospect can no longer ignore.
Take that info and run with it. It’ll serve you well.
Anyway… I’m off to do some empathizing, write some copy, before getting up to some fun shenanigans.
Enjoy your Friday.
Stay sharp,
Kenneth Turnbull
The Gonzo Ad-Man